So it has been quite awile since I last wrote on here... it seems like years but tonight in the given situation im in, I feel like this is the one place where I can express all the feelings going on in my mind at this very moment and get it all out.
If you have ever felt this pain before, feel free to throw your hands up in the air and just sway back and forth with me like they do in concerts when theyre really feelin the music.

I started writting all my feelings down and this blog post was crazy. I found this song that will sum up just about what im feeling at this point. T swift take it away....


"Dear John"

Long were the nights when
My days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps
Praying the floor won’t fall through, again
My mother accused me of losing my mind

But I swore I was fine

You paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game
But you changed the rules everyday
Wonderin’ which version of you I might get on the phone, tonight
Well I stopped pickin’ up and this song is to let you know why

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone

Don't you think I was too young

To be messed with
The girl in the dress

Cried the whole way home, I should've known.

Well maybe it’s me
And my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it’s you and your sick need
To give love and take it away

And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back in regret how I ignored when they said

'Run as fast as you can’

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone

Don't you think I was too young

To be messed with
The girl in the dress

Cried the whole way home

Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong
Don’t you think nineteen’s too young
To be played by your dark, twisted games
When I loved you so, I should've known.

You are an expert at sorry
And keeping the lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you run dry have tired lifeless eyes
Cause you burned them out

But I took your matches
Before fire could catch me
So don’t look now
I’m shining like fireworks
Over your sad empty town

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone

Don't you think I was too young

To be messed with
The girl in the dress

Cried the whole way home

I see it all now that you're gone

Don't you think I was too young

To be messed with
The girl in the dress

Wrote you a song, you should’ve known.

You should’ve known
Don’t you think I was too young
You should’ve known.

       
Scroll to Top

Excuse my very unhealthy obsession with this man. I can't help but be in love. Hello total babe status, mmm (:

this movie twice in one day, three times this week? i believe those numbers are soon to shoot up.

The best kind of blessings.

It's amazing how life's smallest and simplest miracles are some of the greatest miracles life has to offer. These last couple days have truly been an eye opener for me but I have come to realize all it takes is faith in your savior and believing he gave you these trials for you because your the only one strong enough to handle it and make it out on top. Life get's very overwhelming at times, being an 18 year old girl brings the stress of over thinking and analyzing everything for "secret meaning", getting your life in line for the coming year of college and figuring out where you want life to take you, relying solely on yourself for the things your parents use to provide for you, getting a job to support yourself through adult life. It all just seems to pack on and the stress and anxiety weigh us down to the point of breaking. I have reached this point in my life for quite sometime it feels like and its almost a feeling of suffocating but your almost to the point of breaking free and shedding away all the negative. This sunday I was blessed to have a priesthood blessing, to comfort me in my time of need. The impact it had on me during was absolutely amazing, it felt as though all my worries and pain had just been lifted from my life and I was getting a chance to start over with more strength to carry on. Im so grateful for having that available to me when I truly need a boost most, Im grateful for the greatest best friend being there for me, and crying as much if not more than me letting me know she cares the world for me. It's amazing how one little thing can change your life completely and give you hope to continue on. Sometimes, we think we can do it alone, but other times, it's okay to ask for help and let someone hold our pain for just a little bit. What a beautiful thing it is.

This is for you.

I never like people upset or hurt and I especially hate when people are angry with me or are offended by something having to do with me. As I thought this was somewhat of a good trait I had, it seems as though it's digging me a hole I just seem to keep falling deeper and deeper in. I get taken advantage of more than one person should, and I can't seem to understand why. I can't handle toying with my emotions anymore because they know exactly what sets me off, the ones who know exactly how to manipulate a situation to make me always on the end of the stick where I am left feeling guilty and alone. I have a hard time standing up for myself and not letting myself get pushed to the ground.Most people know I would do anything and everything for anyone at any time of the day no matter what it is,if they need me, I will be the one to be there for them no doubt. Im not one to always look on the negative side of life that's why I want to make sure everyone is happy and feeling welcome in this world, I want to fix any problem at that moment so there is no more pain. Pain is my worst enemy. I don't like feeling it and I can't handle watching others be a part of pain in any sort of form and I guess that might be why I do my best to avoid it all in a nut shell.


    It's time for a change, it's time for me to stand on my own two feet and know that I WILL be okay no matter the outcome, that this has only made me the strongest self I can be. You win some, you loose some and what's supposed to happen will happen. I am out of high school and it's time for me to grow up and take initiative for myself. I have also come to realize that all this time I have been on my knees begging him to just ease the pain, to help get me through, that I have had it this whole time I just have been looking for it in the wrong place. He gave me by far the most amazing best friends any girl could ever ask for. The one's who will talk you through the dating world, lift you up when your falling down, take you for coke runs just to let out a little steam, jam to katy perry and justin bieber just because it makes you happy, encourage you to go for what you want in this world and never give up, never make you feel less than you should, take pictures that make you both look like youve had one too many fast food runs, and just be your other half when you really need someone to take your pain for just a little bit. I also have my family who has always been here for me, although we don't get along all the time and they have made me come to realize alot lately, I know they love me unconditionally and will be here for me through thick and thin. Also for Ari and Sean, always given me a home away from home and taken me under their wing, teaching me about the newlywed life and the things to prepare for to be an adult. There my older siblings from another mother and father and well all that complicatedness. After a lot of thought in all this lately I feel like this blog should be dedicated to all those who have really, genuienly made me feel like im a part in one way or another and I would like to thank them all right now. (sorry for the very long post.)
Mom- for giving me everything in this world. Raising me to think about others before myself.
Dad- for being out of town to make money for our family. Loving me undconditionally.
Ari- for being my god mom, personaly stylist, and the best cook.
Sean- for being my life coach and teaching me about the "adult world".
Grandparents- for sitting through every dance competition since the little days, and letting me be the crazy little girl I can be because mom and dad will never know.
Nat- for always asking how im doing and being my older sister growing up.
Wendy- for always providing me with a pluthera of Paris goodies for my room and wardrobe, always joking around with me to make the day a little lighter.
Robyn- for having the best personality I know! Always making a joke about life, always loving being alive.
Janalee- for being my other half, always having the best advice and being happy all the time, always brings a smile to my face.
Brooklin- for being my little sister that totally understands what im saying when I can express it myself, and always being hyper to lift everyones mood. You'd never say a bad word about anyone.
Kenz- for being the best sister anyone could ask for, always backing me up when the parents are being a little harsh or over dramatic.
Shelbie- for being completely nieve and saying great saying that make for hiliarious facebook statuses.
Brittany Connor- for being my little giggler. Everytime you laugh I can't help but laugh along because of the happiness she radiates. She's also very innocent in this world. (:
Aly Johnson- for being my vip continental and sipping juice in glass cups, living on the upper side of life, nothing but laughs.
Lea Wride-for being the ultimate queen of everything, truly my hero in life and always making me feel like I can and will accomplish everything in life.
Allie Howe- for being the other half of the third wheel with me, always providing us with long talks in the hot tub and scary movies that leave us all scared to go home. beautiful inside and out.
Jesse De St Jeor- for being my best friend for three years straight, loving me for who I am and being here for me through some of the hardest time of my life. Always makes me smile when your around.
Alisha Jensen- for always accepting me and treating me like part of the family, always asking how lifes going and feeling like I could talk to her about anything. She is gorgeous.
Amy Sorenson- for teaching us about ducks and how they mate, and for always complimenting me, she always has made me feel welcome and made my day. She is absolutely beautiful.
De St Jeor Family- for accepting me for who I am, always making me a part of the family and letting me be at all the parties. For loving me unconditionally like my own family.
Cade Wilkes- for always being so happy to be alive and making you feel like your here for a reason no matter what. For trying coke also.
Shelby Henrie- for being so strong through everything and shaking it off. For always showing me that much needed skin shot everyday.
Nate Greenwood- for sending texts randomly just to tell you your amazing and beautiful. He has very beautiful lucious jb hair.
Shantell Giles-for loving the gospel so much and always encouraging to keep my faith first, and talking me through the hardest of times.greatest friend.
Ryan Moon-for being my dance partner and learning in one day tops. always makes you laugh and is very charming.
Aubrey Hurrera-for inspiring me to make a blog, for inspiring girls all around that life can be beautiful if you let it.
Cassidy Vansolkema-for giving me a blog to read that has similar posts to relate too. my hero ive yet to meet.
Kourtney Finch-for being my best friend after only 3 hours, for encouraging me throughout try outs and for connecting with me on a whole nother level.
Taylor Allred- for being a great friend since we were little, and for keeping me up on the latest basketball gossip.
Alex Anderson-for being my gorgeous andrea, always having the most positive attitude and being such a beautiful friend inside and out.
Mandy Madsen-for being the best captain drills ever seen, and always cracking jokes to make all of us almost pee our pants.
Sadie Swenson-for always making everyone feel they have a reason to be here, for always smiling and being the love guru.
Katelyn Nicholes-for being the hidden black girl that everyone can't help but enjoy being around, not a dull moment with kate.
Alex Larson-for always telling people how great they are, and for being so sweet.Always lights up my day to see him.
Katy & Ali-for being cousins that are basically sisters, best memories are with these two, always here for me whenever I need it most.
Court Iorg-for helping me dress shop in bayles class and for always making me feel better on those not so good days.
Josh Stephan-for always being excited to talk on the phone and always being so happy.
Alyssa Christiansen-for being the greatest friend ive had since junior high, unseperable and helped me through all the dramas and life ending short comings of junior high days, love her forever.
Angela Sanders- for being my motivation in dance, always told me I could do anything I ever wanted, and was giving me the confidence I needed to have in myself.
Anna Wright-for being the sweetest girl I know, always asking me how life's going and telling me she missed me at young womens, never a negative word out of her.
Ashley Anderson-for always saying hi to me on my daily trips to taco amigo, and having a contagious smile that makes everyone happy.
Ashleyy Blackhurst-for being my savior in p.e and dance company, always laughing with me and making me have much better days. absolutely adorable.
Brandon Thurgood-for teaching me that everything happens for a reason and you just gotta do what makes you happy and not care what anyone else thinks.
Braydin Brady-for always smiling and saying hi in the hall's and being a great example.
Brittany Frampton-for always being someone I could go to for advice, and being my idol in dance.
Cameron Tribe-for being the biggest jokester ive met in my life, he always makes you laugh and makes life worth living.
Carly Sturgis-for crying about me leaving dance company, never had someone be sad to see me leave and it made me feel so good, she is so cute and always gleaming with a smile.
Casey Schow- for being the loudest person I know ive ever met but never being a downer on life, always keeping your head up and dragging me along through church.
Cody Whatcott-for being my older brother I never had, always looking out for me and willing to beat up anyone who tried to hurt me, always great advice also.
Colton Laird-for just sending have a good day texts everyonce in a while and always checking up on me to make sure im doin alright.
Cory Biggar-for always being a stud to me since we were in fourth grade, and for forgiving me when I made you cry, always feel welcome when your with him.
Danielle Smith-for always being positive and seeing the good in others and stopping negative talk right in its tracks, and for being absolutely hilarious.
Hailie Johnson-for taking over the world with me with our cell phones. we will be great presidents someday.
Hillary Walker- for always being here for me through thick and thin, always offering to go to lunch or to just have a time to talk.
Janessa Gray-for always being my motivator to go to singles ward and joking with me to make the time pass a little faster.
Jade Olson-for always having a smile on your face and helping me decorate for birthdays.
Jake Bentley-for being so intellectual and helping me to be the same. Best efy friend in the world.
Jarica Befus-for being absolutely crazy but letting me get my true "ghetto" side out. always inspiring me to be better.
Jeremy Jensen-for being such a sweetheart and being willing to do anything for anyone.
Kaylee Whiteley-for teaching me to be full of sass and not let boys make you feel inferior.
Kevin Fonseca-for being so sassy but funny all at the same time. For having great gymnast moves.
Kyle Tucker-for being so inspirational and encouraging us all to be and do our best in all that we can.
Lacey Rose-for literally being the happiest girl I know, there's no way you could ever not smile when she's around, she will make you happy no matter what.
Lauren Wilson-for being my little gangster who really knows how to get low and drop it like it's hot. such a fun girl to be around always makes you feel at home.
Lindsey Delcastillo-for always being so sweet to me and giving me compliments that totally make my day. She is always so spunky and happy and not afraid to be herself.
Maegan Orr-for always being funky at hip hop and making me smile in everyway. Such a genuienly happy go lucky beautiful girl.
Mariah Carr-for always smiling and calling me beautiful. She is always so happy to see people and she will make sure to cheer you up with her gorgeous smile.
Megan Abel-for being the best blogger known to man, always inspiring girls to find their beauty in life and being themselves.
Mireya Bird-for being my sexy, sassy lucious little latin girl. She's beautiful and has a great shimmy.
Myst Rose-for being crazy with me in lake powell and just understanding me on a whole nother level.
Kelly Rogers-for being so trendy and the funniest girl I know. Never let's a person be down for very long at all.
Kelley Judson-for having patience to teach me guitar and being sweet to me always and teaching me to just let things go.
Nick Robinson-for being himself through it all and telling me everything will always work out and chewing my nails is bad for me.
Sarah Jones-for being the all time greatest person in this world. she is so original and beautiful and would never hurt a fly.
Sheridan Rockhill- for always being my little sherdi who is so happy and a great scooter driver. Great long talks.
Stacey Squires-for encouraging to reach my fullest potential in dance, and never giving up on my dreams.
Shane Mikles- for being such a sweetheart and lookin out for me even that far away.
Sky Cox-for always having the best outlook on life and being happy through everything. Very inspirational.
Syd Bruning-for being by far the funniest person to walk this earth. Never a dull moment with my syd, absoltuely beautiful.
T Wilson-for being the most curtious gentleman out there. Absolutely the sweetest. And helping me with guitar.
Tanner Marsh-for always making people laugh and have a good time. He has great hair also.
Tate Arnold-for being the most outgoing person ive ever met, being happy all the time and making everyone feel welcome.
Tewa Wride-for helping me out in all aspects of life and being my second mom. Always so happy and encouraging.
Whitt Bezzant-for being my inspiration in dance, for helping me find a way to really let my emotions out in dance and giving me courage for the future to come.
Sydnee Merrell-for being the best trend setter. I wish I could have her wardrobe. She is beautiful.
Adrienne Rogers- for literally being the SWEETEST girl I know, she would never say a bad thing about anyone, she is always making everyone feel good about themselves.
Kati Briggs-for being the most "real" person there is in this world and inspiring our screamo band.
Kirsten Goodman-for encouraging us to get balloons off poles, eing the absolute sweetest girl I know.
Lydia Anderson-for helping get through seminary when I thought I just might die or kill someone. She always makes people smile.
Megan Palmer-for helping me understand what the sunday school teacher is trying to say but can't seem to get out in words. She leads me and guides me through singles ward. Beautiful Girl.
Mckenzie Cook-for teaching me how to be an akward date at homecoming, and for being so sweet to me. She is gorgeous.
Tiff Vincent-for always being so spunky and happy no matter the day. Always joking around and making everyone laugh.
Shikeyah Gordon-for bonding with me over future college plans and being so friendly.
Sam Daly-for always smiling and being so nice to everyone she's around. Very beautiful girl.
Winston Sorhaitz-for being my hero. I aspire to be as good at something when im older. He is always crackin jokes.
Mckenzie Gunter-for being so happy all the time and always enjoying life.
Brady Holmes-for being my best friend in junior high always making me laugh, for still being so happy and having a relationship we all envy.
Carlee Hoover-for always making us laugh when we were younger and having the best adventures.

such a long post and if I forgot anyone im truly sorry, I know there are many more people who have made me feel great and I will definately continue to add to this list! these are all the ones I can think of on the spot. Thank you all again from the bottom of my heart and in return I hope to make you feel the same.

Everything happens for a reason, believe in yourself, hold your head up high and know it's going to be alright. (:

Just A New Chapter In This Crazy Thing We Call Life :)

As of June 3rd, twenty-eleven, I Chelsi Ann, graduated from your one and only Pleasant Grove High School. P.s graduation is by far thee longest ceremony I think I have ever sat through, and with an attention span like a 2 year old, it really took a toll on me. Talk about the most crazy rollercoaster ride of emotions. When I try to comprehend this all, it's come to a bittersweet feeling. I am very happy to see what is in store for me in my future, who's to say what could happen in the next year of my life, but im ready for whatever it may bring. Ive been having slight anxiety attacks over thinking I have to "act" like an adult, although I look nothing like one, I have some growing and maturing to do... Thank the heavens I am living at home first year, i'd be an emotional basketcase being on my own... oh deary. It's hard though, to know you may never see some of those people anymore. I will miss the unwanted " public displays of affection" in the hallways, jammed lockers a number of jackets that could probably save the whole school in a snow storm, never wanting to go to class but rather to float around and be the social butterfly.
You never really realize how many people influence your life throughout high school until its come to an end. I had the most amazing experiences in high school, and so many memories were made. Enjoy being young and being in high school, it all may seem hard and dramatic now, but real life will be so much different. Im so grateful for my friends and family who supported me through it all and I love them very much. :)

Me and Allie Howe like to be cute and match dresses or any other clothing that we might have that matches. Yes we are that cool :)

Best Friends are what have gotten me by, we are best friends by choice, but sisters by fate. I don't know how I got so lucky to be blessed with amazing friends, girls like these are hard to find. I love them all so very much!

Thankfulness of the day:

So it wasnt until the senior all nighter that I realized how much I truly worship this stuff. They had straight water... did they really think I was going to last till 4 a.m without a coke to keep me going? Puhhh lease! Think again pals. No wonder im still trying to catch up on energy. Coke completes my life, and makes any sort of ache go right away. I've even got the little tike attatched to it. whoops.

Hero of the day:

Janalee Jones:

My little seductive dancer. :) Jan earns the title of " Doctor Life". She knows anything and everything about what to do and not to do in life, her advice is basically the only reason I haven't been put into a crazy home. She knows exactly what to say and when to say it. I have never had someone sit and listen for hours on end and remember exactly what you said in that amount of time. She also is kind of a pretzel, she can do crazy things with her legs behind her head, but hey she will be makin big bucks of  that talent one day. She is an absolutely beautiful dancer, you never take your eyes off her when you watch her dance. She has been the greatest best friend anyone could ever ask for, I am so amazed with everything she has accomplished and she is going to go so far in life. I love my baby jay. :)

Inspiration

So for quite sometime now, I have been a blogg stalker. I guess you could basically call me the "blogg creeper", name still pending. After endless days of reading Megan Abel, Aubrey Herrera, and the Rockstar Diary blogs, I have felt inspired to put on my big girl pants and make one of my own. With life changing so quickly in this next week, I have come to realize many things. Thing number one, its time to choose to be happy and stay that way, time to break the chains that bind you and let happiness find you. Everything happens for a reason, and trials make you stronger, the lord throws things at you because he knows you are the only one strong enough to handle it and make it through no doubt. Adult life,.... here I come.

Thankfulness of the day:

what would we do without love? many say we are far too young to know what love feels like, but who's to say? The feelings you have when you truly love anyone, family, friends, significant others, are those feelings which can never be replaced. Love is the ultimate high next to being happy and can be achieved anytime of the day. Spread the love everyday, overuse the words I Love You, and make everyone feel they have a purpose.



Hero of the day:

  
Brooklin "Nicole" Frampton.
Ohhhh this little phillie.... I aspire to be her when I grow up. She is an absolutely gorgeous dancer and beautiful girl. Brooke is a babe magnet and boys just come runnin. She recently discovered some unpleasant news about her knee, this would never stop this girl, she would continue to dance even if the room was on fire. Ive never seen someone have such a positive attitude about sucha thing before but it was so inspiring to keep pushing forward no matter the cause. Brooklin is my hero, being my sister on drill this year, we found we are the same girl, I was just stuck in a shorter body and blonde hair. She secretly has a black girl side to her, and in a dance battle she beat them all out. Whip yer hurrr brookey. I love Brooke with all my heart and am eternally grateful for her friendship and love.
Watch her dance, she will make you cry.

Everything happens for a reason. Smile and remember life is what you make it, your beautiful no matter what.